Peter Kay....................

Back to work today, after my stupendous round yesterday......looks like I won, so a victorious end to my last "pre-Captain" round of golf.

Anyway......in all the excitement over the past week, I forgot to have a little rant about a certain Mr Kay and his Tour Tickets. That's Peter Kay,not his brother Vernon. Can't believe their brothers, can you? So different, in many ways!

So two weeks ago, I was working from home, and Peter Kay was on this morning, it just happened to be on. He was on fine form, as usual and made Eamon Holmes look a right plonker, well not difficult really, but he basically ran the show and was plugging his Tour, the tickets were going on sale the next day at 11am.

The tour, as Mr Kay explained, was called the "Tour that doesn't Tour Tour!", so named because after taking seven years off since his last tour to look after his kids, he wanted to play in Manchester only so he could be home to watch Dexter (Whatever that was)

He was really funny and had Eamon non-plussed when he started to talk about his Dog's Lipstick! Eamon did not have a clue, but his Wife, Ruth Langsford knew exactly what it was and was crying she was laughing so much!!

This made Eamon even worse!

If you don't know either,google it! But I'm not responsible for the pictures you find!!!

Anyway....................

I decided I'd try to get some tickets for one of his shows, along with some friends on facebook, in fact the whole of Haslington were interested.

So, whilst not having to camp out all night, a load of us decided to try our luck.

Nothing! No Chance!

Phone line engaged, website crashing, tried for 3 hours! We all did, someone got a couple, another managed to 4 corporate package at £150 a piece! I like Peter Kay, but not that much.

Sold Out! Checked on Ebay and surprise, surprise, buy now option for Peter Kay Tickets were £250. One bloke selling 10 of them! There still going now for £150!!!

How can these people get away with it?

Felt like putting a bid in for £5000 and then not paying!

How could they even get them in the first place if the Websites and Phone lines are chocker block! Rant Rant Rant!!!

Still hacked off, I listened to Danny Baker and lo and behold, Peter Kay was on and proceeded to plug his tour "Tour that doesn't Tour Tour!", so named because after taking seven years off since his last tour to look after his kids, he wanted to play in Manchester only so he could be home to watch Dexter!

Nearly every funny bits from his interview with Eamon Holmes, apart form the dog lipstick!

Sounded a bit scripted to me!

Blow me, if he pops up on Jonathan Ross and tells us exactly the same.........Tour that doesn't tour tour, seven years off, kids, back for Dexter!

Yes we know!

Don't think I'll bother to go now.......I think I've seen his new act already!

"ICE CREAM VAN? IN NOVEMBER!!!!"

I've just sat down to write today's Blog and an Ice Cream van has pulled up outside, chimes blaring.......in comes Josh (7 year old son) and he wants an ice cream! In November.

NO. Mr Whippy, much as I admire your tenacity and support the fact that you have to make a living, this is not what I want to hear on a Sunday afternoon in the Winter! It is dark!!!

Josh is going to sulk now!!!


Anyway.................unbelievable round of Golf today.....well front 9 anyhow!

24 points, gross 39 for the first nine, par's on 1,2,4 and 6, birdie on 3 (more of that later!) bogies on 7 (Par Putt Lipped out!), 8 and 9. I thought I was dreaming!

15 points on back nine, a couple of blobs and a mini-disaster on 18, but managed 39 points.........Leading in Clubhouse.

Saw Messrs Woodbine and Stubbs as I left the car park and would'nt be surprised if one or them beat me, but I'm not complaining!

How can someone go from struggling to break 100 5 weeks ago, suddenly start shooting sub 90 and get their handicap down by 3, no make that 4 shots after today, in 5 weeks?

Mind you, the condition of the course helps. The Greens are unbelieveable and not just for this time of year! 29 putts today!

"Saintsie, It's a funny ole game" Don't hear of Saints and Greavsie much any more! Just as well really.

Anyway.........the 3rd.

Skied my Driver and had 180 to the pin (back left), caught my Hybrid (3iron loft) sweet as a nut, never left the hole and it came to rest about a foot past the hole. Luvvly Jubbly! Birdie and 4 points, just what the doctor ordered!

I won't bore you with anymore,although my third into the 4th left me with a 2ft putt for par.....GET IN!!!

It was good to see WesJones backin a bit of form, but still not good enough to warrant a cut in handicap! (Sorry Wes....)

Also, congratulations to Mr Ian Jones who aced the 11th on Saturday. A wedge i believe, pitched past the pin and rolled (sorry span) back into the hole.

Oh and one more thing, we appear to have people walking off after 9 holes, blaming slow play, but having seen the card, more like bad play!!!! Stick it out, you're stopping someone else from playing!!!

Graphite, it's the future. (That reminds me, must rant about Peter Kay tickets tomorrow!!!)

This time next week!.......

I'll be Captain!

Looking forward to it, hope that the Presentation session works and that the AGM is well supported.

I'm getting a lot of advice at the moment, but most people are telling me to enjoy me, which I intend to do!

So if you happen to see me looking glum, remind me that I'm supposed to be having fun!!!

That's what golf is supposed to be, especially for us in Cat 3 and 4!

But having heard reports on the news about Tiger Woods, it would appear that even with the talent, the commitment, the titles and the money, life is obviously not all plain sailing!

So "this time next week", where will Tiger be?

According to the official statements, it looks like Tiger was drving from the house and somehow crashed into a tree, or two, only yards from his house! He was apparently unconcious and his wife, having heard the crash found him locked in the car and so broke the rear window, so he could get out........with a golf club!

Well I suppose if it had been Kevin Petersen and Jessica Taylor, it would have been a cricket bat, although posh would have probably used her high heeled shoes!

I wonder what club she used? I reckon it was probably a hybrid!

Well that's the official story, but it would appear that a "source close to the family" (where do they find these sources) is saying that his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to this source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his car but according to this source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club. Presumably making him crash!!!

We were watching the news last night and they showed the US television stations interrupting programmes for the breaking news!!!

He won't be the first high profile sports man, or even golfer to have gone through this, but I guess it's not what is expected of someone like Tiger.

So he is a human after all!

Apparently his Yacht is called Privacy......not sure he'll get much of that in the next few weeks and he may well have to sell the Yacht if the rumours are true!

And remember you heard it here first!!!

Welcome to My Nightmare....................

I was listening to a recent offering from the Daily Mayo podcast on the way to work this morning. The podcast contains the previous day's interview that Simon Mayo does in his afternoon show and they are offered for download.

This interview was not actually conducted by Simon, but by Richard Bacon who is taking over the afternoon slot in January when Simon takes over Drive Time on Radio2 from Chris Evans, who is taking over the Breakfast Show from Terry Wogan......hang on, what's this got to do with anything???

Well, the guest on this particular podcast was Vincent Furnier, aka Alice Cooper, and very entertaining it was!

For those of you who don't know, Alice Cooper was originally a band fronted by Vincent, who adopted this goulish character of Alice Cooper and eventually became Alice Cooper!

Check the detail out on Wiki, but suffice to say in the early 70's his act, which included mock hangings, beheadings, midget throwing, snakes and zombies was pure Rock Theatre and very entertaing.

The reason for the interview was obviously to publicise his latest tour, 40 years as Alice Cooper and he explained how he got to the point where because he was expected to be this scary character and live the Rock and Roll lifestyle 24x7, his drinking go a little out of hand!

He then realised that his drinking buddies were dying off one by one. Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Keith Moon, John Bonham etc. etc. He also realised that the only time in the day he did not drink was when he was on stage at night!

He was addicted to alcohol, not Alice Cooper!!!

So he gave up and took up Golf!!!

This is where it got even more interesting. He had moved to Phoenix Arizona and being an addictive person, was playing 36 holes a day 7 days a week! When he was on tour, he would make sure he played in the morning before the gig that night and managed to play off scratch within a couple of years. He cited the fact that without getting into golf he would have been dead years ago!

Anyway..............he then started to talk about the other "Rockers" who now played regularly:

Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, Neil Young and Alice Cooper......now that would be an interesting 4 ball!!! Beat that for weirdness!!!

But how's this for another golfing link.....remember the "Radio" musical chairs? Well Richard Bacon plays golf (Badly), Chris Evans was mad on Golf at one time, (probably bought a golf course at one time!) and Sir Terry Wogan at one point held the world record for the longest televised putt on Pro-Celebrity Golf (to go with the second worst Pro-Celebrity Wig after Brucie!!!)

So, I managed to get a golfing link in somehow!!!

Winter Cross Country...................

After the Blog about the Winter League, I've had comments about the not so positive elements of winter golf!

However, Mr Ian Jones, who is obviously not a lover of Winter Golf has reminded me of an idea I've had for a while.

Cross Country Golf!! We used to play at my previous club on boxing day!

It's a simple format, bit like point to point horse racing, where you basically race from point to point across fields, jumping hedgerows etc. It's where the term Steeple Chase came from you know..........you raced used the local churche steeples as aiming points!!!

Anyway..............back to the Cross Country Golf idea.

The difficulty is thinking of which tees to which greens. The idea is to play 5 or maybe 6 holes!

My thoughts are:

Hole 1 - First Tee to 2nd Green
Easyish Start, but interesting decision on approach (Par 7?)

Hole 2 - 3rd Tee to 5th Green
How far down the 4th before you go for Green? (Par 7?)

Hole 3 - 6th Tee to 10th Green
Tricky lay ups to sixth, over 7th Fairway, up 18th and across to 10th Fairway. (Par 8?)

Hole 4 - 11th to 13th Green
Easiest hole.....Drive to 12th fairway, lay up short of ditch and then over to 13th tee!!!

Hole 5 - 14th to 16th
Short hole, but plenty of hazards to contend with!!!

Hole 6 - 17th tee 9th (or probably more safely 8th to 9th to finish, but taking care of shots from left from 7th Fairway.

What do you reckon? Any other suggestions welcomed.

As you can see, I've been thinking about this for a while and I guess I can now think about running it! It would need the course to be ours for the day and obviously the members need to be interested in playing, but it would be a laugh....and that's what I want to see this year. There is a time and place for Serious competitive golf, but we need to have a laugh as well.

Unfortunatley, one year, when we played it at my old club, one member and his son who had both received new clubs from Santa, decided to try to play a "normal" round whulst we were slogging it cross country......don't know how they survived.

Jonesy...I'm up for if it you are!!!!

Brennands Last Stand.............

Last committee meeting before the AGM.

Trevor had a big grin on his face, especially when we were discussing the running order for the AGM and we got to the point where he hands over!

Jeannie was quite happy as well.

Not suggesting the pair of them are getting Demob happy, but they're looking forward to the break.

It's been a tough year for them especially the first part, there were quite a few changes early on, with the Pro Shop changing after Frank and Hazel moved to Hawkstone, so all in all they've done a good job without too much fuss.

Anyway (got to remember to stop using that as a change of thread), Anyway, where was I. Oh Yes.....

Anyway, everything is ready for the AGM on the 5th of December, apart from the Jacket, Badge and lack of Vice Captain!

I'm not going to rush into it just to get a Vice Captain in time for the AGM.

It needs to be someone who wants to do it and not someone who is railroaded into it.

Why did I say yes "eventually"? I see it is an an honour, but it's the only way I'm going to get my name up on a board in the clubhouse!!! Certainly not going to get on a major board! (Just watch me!!!)

Looking forward to seeing everyone get their trophies pre AGM and taking over.....must think about my acceptance speech (for Captain, not for a trophy!!!)

"Stormy Weather............"

The winter was certainly in Winter League today. Whilst the course was in reasonable condition despite the amount of rain that had fallen over the last few days. the BBC had promised a window of decent weather up until 12:00, but this failed to materialise and as we set off on the first tee it was cold, wet and windy!

Wes informed us that he had been kept up by his kids all night and his round started off with a Drive that started right and went further right, further right than Mussolini and his brown shirts! We were not sure whether it reached the gardens, but it was definitely out of bounds!

He managed to find a big puddle on the 7th (as you can see) and amused us trying to retrieve his ball. Unfortunatley he did not amuse us further by falling in!!!

He managed to muster 9 points on the fornt nine and he could have given up and gone home, but he persevered and managed to score 13 points on the back for a, well less than stunning 22 points!

The point is though, this is winter league! This is winter golf! It's about keeping your swing going until the proper golf season starts in March (or maybe April) and having a laugh. It's the Craic!

When the weather is grim and your game is a bit on the rough side, it's about battling the elements and your game and getting through to the end.

When you do eventually put a decent round together, it feels even better when you recall the wet and cold day in November, when you carried on to the end and it feels all the sweeter.

There's always the flask of Jack Daniels to keep you going!

Winter golf..............Love it!!!

Handball Henry.....

I realise this is a bit old hat now, but us golfers always pride ourselves in the fact that the game, particularly at a club level is a self regulating when it comes to adhering to the rules. i.e. not cheating!

There are obviously opportunities to bend the rules, even use them to your advantage, but to cheat is against the very fabric and ethos of the game.

So when Thierry Henry decided first to deliberatley handle the ball to his advantage, for William Gallas to score the goal that took France to the World Cup finals, he probably thought that the goal would be dissallowed. Although by running around the goal to celebrate, he was probably hoping to "Con" the referee. He was probably amazed to see that the goal was allowed to stand, with little or no discussion between the ref and his linesman or the protestations of the Irish players.

To rub salt into the wounds, he admitted the next day that he had deliberatley handled the ball, but it was the referees job to spot it and he did not need to admit at the time and get it changed. He did suggest that the game should be replayed, but only after FIFA had judged that there would be no replay.

Is it because there was so much money riding on the result that he did this? Well certainly there was a lot of money, but so there is in Professional Golf at the highest level.

Cricketers don't generally walk any more when they've snicked the ball to the slips, and there have been occasions when they have claimed a catch when they clearly have'nt completed the catch properly and that is a sign of the increased money involvved. Or is it just the way society is today. (Better br careful here as it's starting to sound very intelectual!!!)

The much maligned Paulo DiCannio showed the right spirit when instead of scoring an open goal because of an injury to the opposing goal keeper decided to kick the ball into touch. Robbie Fowler pleaded with the ref not to award him a penalty when David Seaman had not tripped him up. He even hit the post with the resulting penalty, only for Jason Macateer his team mate to score the rebound.

It's not just a French thing either, I remember Arsene Wenger agreeing to a replay where his team had ignored the protocol of passing the ball back to the keeper when a ball had been kicked off for an injured player and proceeded to score a goal.

Anyway, back to the point re golf, certainly at club level, there are at times errors made due to the simple fact that some of the rules are complex and are, at times, against all logic and common sense. But in the main, most players would never knowlingly cheat and will continue to call the "double hit" which can only be detected by the player himself, or when you realise that you've actually played the wrong ball, or that you grounded your club when you should'nt have. Your playing partner will ensure that that 7 you thought you scored on the 5th was actually an 8 becuase you took 2 to get out of the bunker, which you had forgotten when the red mist came down!

No, golfers pride themselves that the game is played in the right spirit and to the letter of the law and long may it continue!

Monsieur Henry could have made himslef into the biggest sporting hero in the world ever, if he had "called himself" and admitted to the ref there and then, the ref may not have taken any notice, but he would have shown to the world what a legend he was. Instead, he is now, rightly or wrongly labelled as a cheat and will probably be castigated and remembered for this, instead of the skillful player he is.

I don't think Tiger Woods or Roger Federer will want to play with him anymore!!!

Disk gone missing...........

I was supposed to load some software (MS Office) onto the Lady Captain's PC tonight, got round there with a pile of discs, only to find that Disc 1 of 4 was missing.....

Still had a good chat about the impending captaincy, lack of Vice Captain, lack of badge etc.

We (me, Jeannie and Pete) agreed that the Presidents day was good. Pity we couldn't have done the whole day in the Clubhouse and the chilli was a bit on the naff side, but it was a good day.

Glad Jeannie had a good day and that Sam Thomas behaved himself!! He's a nice lad and I'm looking forward to persuading the new Handicap Secretary (whoever he may be!!) managing his handicap down. He is dedicated!!!

As Roy Castle used to say....."Dedication is what you need"

Getting ready for Winter League 3 and cementing my place in the top 16!

Hope the weather is kind...........See you Sunday

Not a golf day today...........turning into me dad!!!

Not much of a golf day today.

Busy day at work and then off to Daughters School to meet the teachers!

Recalled waiting for my parents to return from similiar events in my day.

The worst occasion was when my parents talked to my Chemistry Teacher, Pat Grail (Dr Grail, PHD and all that) Well qualified, but could'nt teach!!!

She told my Dad that she could'nt tell me off because I made her laugh!!!! Well you can imagine it did not go down well.

He told me in no incertain terms, with a number of select expletives that he was not putting me through Grammar school to become a comedian!!!

It was like listening to my reports......Your Daughter is very clever and hard working, but she could do better if she concentrated more....

The "makes me laugh" equivalent was from her science teacher...."If Sophie spent as much time studying her science lesson as she does on her appearance and make up, she would be a straight A student!!!

I could feel me starting to talk like my Dad!!!!

She's a good daughter really and we lover her to bits!!!!!

Communication, Communication, Communication....

"One Cannot Not Communicate", as said one Mr Paul Watzlawic, a psychologist I was made to read as part of a degree I completed at Durham University! Boy was that a boring book!!!

He also wrote a book called "The situaion is hopless, but not serious", a slightly better read, but still a bit wierd. (Check him out on Wiki!!!)

Anyway, I've written a couple of entries in the "Captains Blog", so it;s about time to let people know that its available.

Communication is going to be a consistent theme for me as Captain and I'll be making sure that there are plenty of opportunities and avenues for everyone to to "be communicated to and to reciprocate".....boy I'm using some big words today.

However, as a dear old work colleague of mine used to quote, "You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead!" (He has a lot of other quotes, but most of them not publishable)

Anyway, if you want to know whats going in you only need to ask (or read what's available), if you want to tell me (or the committee)what you are unhappy with, or want you want, you only have to make contact!

Blimey, this post has been a bit highbrow and slightly philosophical.....I promise it will be back down to earth tomorrow!

Anyone know any good Fart or Willy jokes?

Post Presidents Day Blues

Well back to work, but still thinking about yesterdays round!

Weather was crap again today. Boy we were lucky yesterday!

Remebering 4 or 5 great putts, driving the ball well (for me) and my Glyn's clutch shoe over the lake to the 14th 8 ft from the pin. I told him to play safe and play way right of the pin, but what do you expect from a 27 handicapper!!!

88 gross for me and 94 for Glyn!

Emailed the Captain and President, chased Jon Farmer for a couple of things.........

Thought about the Vice Captain again! Maybe I'll have to start without one, unless inspiration suddenly hits!

Looking forward to the weekend and the next round of Winter League, 36 points will cement my position in the top 16 qualifiers!!!

Presidents Day

Probably the best event of the year!

How in less than 24 hours can the weather change from gale force winds and driving rain to blue skies and sunshine. It was a bit cold, but we were wrapped up warm and I did have the flask of Jack Daniels if needed. (As it happened it was'nt!)

Picked up my playing partner Glyn (got to be careful using the term "partner" these days), and arrived at the clubhouse to see a full car park and loads of golf bags, trollies and wooly hatted golfers.

Into the club house for Cofee and Bacon Rolls. (Make the most of it as Devere are stinging us for the food!!!)

First time I've played in a Shotgun start. Not too bad, drawn to start on the 11th hole.

10 minutes practice on the "overcrowded" putting green and the walk off to the 11th tee, seeing all of the golfers trudging to their respective starting points!

Captain and President on the first! Lady Captain on the 10th!!! Randon draw my arse!!

Introduced Glyn to playing partners, Norman Sleeth and his guest Lars.

Lars had taken advantage of the pro shop offer of ttrying out a laser distance finder gadget and had locked the coordinates into his brain. Lars was playing off 1 but had not played much for 3 years because of a back problem.

We were waiting for a klaxon, which, by the way, never sounded, and were preparing to tee off and a little man on a mini tractor appeared over the ridge and proceeded to move the hole from the left of the green over to the right.....Lars had to get his laser out again!!!

(full shot by shot description of round available on request)

The course was in absolutley spectacular considering the time of year and the amount of rain this week! BIG RESPCT to Ashley and the greenkeeping staff!

Glyn played well off his 27 handicap, I was pretty good myself and we managed to score 36 points with a blob on the 7th and a few putts that lipped out.

Shot fo the day was definitley Glyn's 2nd to the 14th, 165 yard carry over the lake to within 8 foot.

Got to say Norman was unlucky on the green and Lars hit the ball really well, especially on the par fives!

Great day..........

The result.......I think Golf was the winner, but the 2009 Captain, Mr Brennand, partnered by ex-member Gav Dickson won with 42 points.

Chatted to the Lady Captain and she reckons she is ready for the end of her captaincy, so when I suggested she should do a two year stretch she was clearly not interested!

Great turn-out, good craic, and the golf was pretty good as well.

Congratulations to Mr President (Rob Hendry) for a successful event.

Still no Vice Captain though.

Badge and Blazer

Went for final fitting for Blazer today.

Looks good, but may be a problem with the Badge.

It's got to be embroidered by a company in Ireland!

I had to send a picture of the badge and logo to them and apparently it will be made someone in their own home.

I've got a mental image of a little old lady with wire rim glasses, in her rocking chair, by the peat fuelled fire in her little cottage. Silver thimble on her finger, painstakingly and lovingly concentrating on each individual stitch with a single candle to light the room.

It will probably an Eastern European woman in a council flat squat with a sowing machine set up to embroider fake Nike, Adidas, Lacost logos into fake sportswear.

Whatever, it looks like it won't be ready for the AGM on the 5th.

According to Mr Platt of Platts Menswear Emporium (8-11 Mill St. Crewe), it will be a miracle if we get it back in time for the AGM.

Still have'nt got a Vice Captain sorted out either, so no Badge, no Vice Captain.

Not the best start.

Bumped into Steph Edwards, Lady Captain a few years ago and she wished me good luck for my year, it is starting to feel real now!

Looking forward to Presidents Day tomorrow. Should be good if the weather stays dry. Invitation event with Shotgun Start at 8:45. Prize table should be good, if Jon Farmer is to be believed. Hopefully my partner will be on good form. Got a decent draw as we are starting on the 11th Tee!!!

The Prologue..................

It was around April 2009 that I agreed to become Vice Captain at Wychwood Park Golf Club, which meant I would become Captain for 2010.

The position came available due to the encumbent having to pull out, which was a shame as he is a great bloke and he would have made a great Captain.

I joined Wychwood Park Golf Club as a founder Member, actually joining nearly 9 months before it opened. I am actually member number 2, I probably only missed out on the number 1 spot because I did'nt have a "greenhouse" to donate as a starters hut!

Anyway, I had served on the committee of the club 2004, holding many positions, Handicap Secretary, Competitions Secretary and even Honorary Secretary for a year and I guess it was assumed that I would take up the role of Captain, but having been asked on a number of occasions, I had declined for various reasons.

It was not that I did'nt want the honour of being Captain, but the timing was not right, I did not feel ready for the position.

When Trevor rang me to tell me that hs Vice Captain had stepped down, he asked me if I would take up the position. I thought for a few seconds as he sold the idea to me, but all I was thinking was, this could be the last chance. Maybe I would not be asked again.

Anyway, I liked Trevor and wanted to help. That was me all over, Mr Helpful.....in time of trouble etc. etc.

So I said yes.

Now with 3 weeks to go, it's almost time to slip on the Jacket and embark on 12 months of sheer.........bliss? Anarchy? Terror?

Could be a bumpy ride, but I'm going to enjoy it come what may.

Having been on the committee I know what to expect and how Devere, our "partners" are a business and need to generate revenue to survive, so at least I enter with my eyes wide open!

So there's the background, I thought it would be nice, even if only for me to keep a record of my 12 months Captaincy, the highs, the lows and the funny stories along the way!