SMUGHEAD JOBSWORTHS! - Don't they know who I am!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I  am all for road safety and think myself as a safe driver, not speeding or driving carelessly.

True I did get points on my licence following being zapped at 10pm on a stretch of the M6 in the lake district going through roadworks with the roads empty and then got caught on film leaving Knutsford doing 42mph by a camera poking out of a white van. Apparently it was parked in a purpose built parking bay that the council had built with our money!

Not that I'm bitter, you understand!

As I travelled, and still do, the highways and by ways of the UK, with 6 points I couldn't afford any more, so I purchased a Road Angel detector! Saved me loads I reckon over the years!

As I left the golf club a couple of weeks ago, I was driving through Weston, just about to enter the village near the White Lion, when I saw 3 gentleman in HiVis jackets, one of them with a clipboard and one with what looked like a hairdryer point in my direction. I realised what it probably was, but as it was not the police and that I was not going fast, I wasn't worried!

So imagine my shock and surprise, when my lovely wife (Shaz), interrupted me as I was working from home and handed me an envelope with a very smug expression on her face, calling me a naughty boy!

From the "Road Policing Unit - Eastern Division", I suddenly recalled who I had seen only 4 or 5 days ago. Not more points!!!!  I've only just got the old ones off my licence!

The letter informed me that I was caught by the "Community Speedwatch Volunteers" working in partnership with Cheshire Police doing 33mph whilst entering a 30 mph limit!

Yes, I know they are concerned about their community, but apart from running into "Speed Watch Volunteers", or a tractor pulling out from the farm entrance, or some drunk staggering out of the the White Lion, I don't think that the extra 3 mph was going to make much differnce! I also wonder whether the old git holding the the "hairdryer" had a steady enough hand to make the speed reading that accurate. Surely, any slight movement would exagerate the reading.

Bit it was a warning! "No further action will be taken on this occasion"

So what's the point? And more to the point, how come they can get a letter posted out 4 days later, when I couldn't get to see a policeman , or get a crime number when Shaz's car was nicked!!!! Get your priorities right. Catch me and fine me, bit don't allow those HiViz smugheads loose with a hairdryer and give me a warning!

And another thing, if this hairdryer was a radar gun, how come my Road Angel didn't go off? Either that was a Hairdryer, or my Road Angel is not working. Or perhaps the fact that I was on my mobile, eating a sausage roll and drinking a can of coke meant I was distracted enough not to hear the beep or see the flashing red warning light!

(only joking about the sausage roll, it was a pastie and I wasn't talking on the mobile, I was texting!........oh and it was a red bull and not coke!!!)

Anyway, I know who the HiVis smugheads were and I will be waiting for you outside you local village pub with a "joe public test yourself breathalyser kit" and perform a citizens arrest after they start driving their car away!

(This is a rant and I do not suggest that anyone should flagrantly break any of the laws laid down by this great country of ours!!!)