What a Travesty!!!

I don't suppose you've been watching "The Restaurant", the Apprentice type show that is based on the winners opening a restaurant with Raymond Blanc? Well I have and the Final last night was nothing but a travesty!!!

Eight couples started the journey and two went in the first programme, one being a mother and daughter team who went after trying to crack a coconut with a big kitchen knife and then using the same knife to open a can of condensed milk, so scary that Raymond chucked them out there and then. The same show saw the demise of a mother and son pair, who lost out because of their lack of concept. (Each restaurant has to have a concept!)

The ultimate winners "Mixologist" JJ Goodman and his friend and business partner James Hopkins, directors at the London Cocktail Club, beat the eight other couples to the prize. They said they were 'over the moon' about the win and will now work with Blanc and business partners Sarah Willingham and David Moore to open a restaurant based around their concept of serving sharing dishes with cocktails.

They were rubbish EVERY week! Somehow they survived and perhaps the decision was made weeks ago. JJ could not cook and did not want to cook. He always left the bulk of the work to the other professional chefs in his restaurant and if in doubt, he reverted to his mixology, i.e. mixed a cocktail.

His partner "James", was what used to be called a "hooray henry" and to be fair was reasonably good at front of house, but together, without fail they were a disaster, only surviving because another couple were worse, or one week, when the ex-army pairing gave up and left!

So to the final! The two remaining pairs had to cook a meal for the Earl; and Duchess of Arran at their stately home for eighteen discerning guests. They had to take turns in providing a course guided by the Butler!

The other finalists were probably opposite in composition with the Chef, Chris Hackett,  being very talented, but the front of house Nathan Gooding, being an obnoxious little shit, who in a previous week had a stand up argument with a female guest who complained about a dirty plate. As he left he "flipped the bird" in her direction.

Anyway, the first course was Smoked Salmon Blinis, which were supposed to allow the guests to enjoy a small but tasty morsel whilst making small talk and sipping champagne. JJ served up an oversized double mouthful that did not go down too well.

There opponents served up a vegetable Consomme (soup) made with fresh ingredients from the Duchess's own organic vegetable garden which was described by all!

Meanwhile JJ is panicking in the kitchen with his next course which was supposed to be a Rissotto. His partner James, was very good at communicating the bad news to the Duchess, but when he finally served up a Rissotto which looked more like tinned Rice Pudding with some chopped leaves in. When the Duchess, who was a bit of an old trout, tasted it, it looked as if someone had farted in her face!

The next course, produced by Chris was a fancy scallop dish which everyone drooled over, meanwhile JJ, was trying to rescue the Beef he had forgotten to start whilst he was fighting with his Rissotto! The Vegetables that had been prepared by Chris were superb and the Beef, luckily was ok!

Finally they both had to serve a souffle.

Chris produced a classic chocolate souffle using a recipe from Raymond's very own recipe book, whilst JJ made a complete cock-up by mixing all the ingredients together without realising that the egg white needed to be whisked separately and layered into the mix gradually!!! It was a mess!

James informed the Duchess that half of her guests would be without desert, whilst an apoplectic JJ shat himself.

After James had informed the Duchess of the bad news and her guests were sharing their chocolate souffles, he returned to the kitchen and JJ suddenly came up with a solution..................he mixed a cocktail!

Meanwhile, Chris and Nathan were in their kitchen celebrating a successful task and perhaps feeling smug, thought, perhaps quite rightly that they had won the task and therefore the series.

So to the judging. They obviously didn't take notice of the Duchess and her cronies! You could tell by the way the interviews with the finalists and their views of what had gone on and the judges discussions made it obvious that the biggest upset since Wimbledon beat Liverpool in the FA Cup final was about to happen (Although Wimbledon probably deserved it!)

Yes, the "Jedwards" of the restaurant won......by their reaction they could not believe that they had blagged their way through the competition.

As Raymond was going through his preamble, Chris and Nathan could see the writing on the wall and their faces were a picture. Chris particularly seemed to find it difficult to take. He had delivered, time after time and especially in the final! After all, this was a cooking competition wasn't it?

Well, like Strictly is a dance competition that allows John Sergeant to get close to winning, like X-factor allows Jedward to even get into the final this time, the pair who went out in the semi-final would probably have been the winners if it had been a public vote!

However, a pair of chancers, with a chef who could not cook, but could mix a mean cocktail, won the top prize, to work with Raymond Blanc and his associates, who made their choice!

It will be interesting to see how successful the partnership is!!!!

Siralan.........we will never question your judgement ever again!!!

Don't worry back to golf tomorrow!