The Frank Kiddie Scratch...........

You wait years to play with a Professional around your course and then 2 come along within a week!


Today is the Frank Kiddie Scratch competition and I am playing with THE Frank Kiddie.

Frank was the Pro at Wychwood until a few years ago when he moved on to Hawkestone Park to ply his trade. He has also been playing on the Seniors Tour, but as he tells us on the first tee, he has not played a round here since he left.

He then proceeds to hit the ball straight down the middle, with his usual flawless, effortless way.

The 3rd member of the group is the Vice Captain, Martin Wainman and he hits a great tee shot and I’m in my usual spot on the up slope, just reaching the fairway.

I hit a decent second and a really good 3rd that just runs through the green, but a chip and a putt left inches short and I start with a 6. It’s a medal today, so need top play it steady today. No attacking pins and putts!

A good tee shot on 2 and a good par. Feeling good, putting nicely.

A short drive on 3 and my second is just short and a bad chip leaves me with a long putt for par. I hit a reasonable lag putt, but tweak my par putt, missing from about a foot! Where did that come from? Nice Birdie from Frank.

A decent drive down 4 just short of the bunker, whilst Frank and Martin have clipped drives a decent length ahead of me. I hit a reasonable 2nd and a good chip from about 50 yards leaving me with an 8 foot putt for par. Just miss again, but not putting well!!!

We are waiting on the 5th tee and as usual, when with Frank, we start talking music and Martin has already heard about my murky past as a member of a Punk band! Martin also mentions, just as I get on the tee, how good it is to see that the trees are in play! My tee shot is pulled left and into the trees! "Sorry, said Martin!!!"

Now I had to find my ball and this was not going to be easy! we started to look and I was just about to trudge back to the tee and found it just on the edge of the plantation and managed to hit a good recovery shot to where the bell is, or where it would have been if it had not been removed!

Just short of the green with my 3rd, but a good chip and a putt for a bogie. Only I miss it for a double!!! This is starting to seriously piss me off!!! If I can't putt, this is going to be a LONG round!

Hit a good tee shot on 6, but it plugs on landing just short of the green. Ok chip and left with a little slider down to the pin. Good put, but just miss, so it's a bogie. But even with the double on 5, I'm only one off my handicap.

We have a bit of a wait on the 7th tee, so we have another chat about music and Martin decides to start singing!!!!

Frank hit's a solid drive as does Martin. I hit a decent one as well, which flirts with the plantation, but rolls nicely back into the fairway. I hit the second , but cut it a bit and end up in the hazard. Worse is to come as I drop and duff the next into the ditch!

The photographer fromGolf Buddy is back again. His appearance last Sunday in the pro am saw me have a bit of a nightmare....looks like he's not bringing me any luck again today either!

Another drop, followed by a wedge that leaves me with a putt for a 7, but an ugly 3 putt leaves with a 9..........This hole is getting me down!!!

We're off the back tee on 8 and a bit of a breeze against and I hit a bit of a "scabby" one which just makes it across! And I mean just.Wish I could hit it as effortlessly as Frank!!!!

Good second and a chip to within 5 foot, but just lip out for par!

More singing from Martin, he's not playing well, but Frank has given him a little tip, to place the ball a bit further back in his stance and it seems to be working.

I hit a weak drive and my second is ok, but I'm left with a longish shot for 3rd which ends up short of the green and with an agressive put from just off the green, I leave a two putt for 6.

49 for the front nine, Martin has hit 50!!! Off 10 handicap.

Martin persuades us to call into the bar for a beer, so after twisting Frank’s arm he joined us. A quick Guinness for me and Martin and a Lager for Frank and we were joined by Neil Cox, David Taylor and Nick Lea.


We swapped a few tales and then as we headed for the 10th tee, they stayed for a second pint.

I regaled for the umpteenth time, about the time I won the Concorde Cup, after scoring just 13 points on the front with a 4 pointer on the 9th. I then proceeded to score 26 on the back and win on count-back with 39 points. Beating Stuart Ryall. Even I was starting to get bored of this story, as well as the one about being Member no. 2!!!

I hit an ok drive, but Martin and Frank both hit superb shots! I was blocked by the tree and my attempt at a draw round the tree which results in a duffed shot that creeps past the tree.

We are all now roughly equidistant from the pin at the back. Martin goes first and hits it fat, just short of the bunker. Frank hits next and hits it fat, just short of the bunker! Chance for me to get it on and pull a shot back!

I hit it fat and end up short of the bunker!

Martin suggests a quick wager for whoever get’s closest to the pin.

Martin first and not a bad shot, but should be able to beat that, but Frank hits it past the pin and I hit a shot that looks good, but rolls to the back of the green. Martin’s up £2!

I manage only a 6, so not a good start.

Onto the 11th and I hit a reasonable shot which runs down to the bottom level, leaving me a tough one back up the slop. A 4 is inevitable with the way I’m putting!

A short drive off 12 is recovered by a good 2nd and I manage to get across the ditch, just. Getting down in 3 is a minor miracle!

Good drive on 13, followed by an indifferent 2nd, I hit a wedge from the rough just short and take another 3 to get down. Frank has recovered from his bogey on 10 and is now level again following his birdie on 12. He gets another solid par on 13 as did Martin.

Onto 14, memories of yesterdays Scramble! I take 3 wood to lay up and knob it into the hazard left. Take a drop and manage to get it over the ditch. Decent 9 iron and I've got an unlikely chance of a bogey! Just lip out for a 6!!!

Hit a safe one off 15, and with a decent fairway wood, I get a wedge on and two putts for a 5. Martin is starting to play well now, but his singing is getting worse!

16 and I hit a good shot to the left of the bunker and have a good line into the green, Just tug it left but a good chip leaves chance for a par, but lip out and tap in for a 5.

17th and the wind is challenging, so try to hit a draw, but pull it left and in the drink.

Take a drop and hit a decent shot to the heart of the green and two putts for a 5.

Hack it up 18th and will be glad to finish.....

Just to add a bit of spice and give us a chance to get our quid back, Marting bets he can get up and down from about 30 yards. He hits a poor chip and leaves a 15 footer.......which he sinks! This is getting expensive!

Trudge up the hill after taking 7 and surprised when I find out that I've broken 100! Well 99 to be exact.

We head to the clubhouse, there's a net 65 in and Jamie Clorley is leading the scratch comp with 75, until Coxy comes in with a gross 73! A Guinness fuelled back 9!


The other groups gradually roll up and it's chance to catch up with all of the banter. We are waiting for Lee Cole to turn up for a beer and the stories start about golf tours , but obviously can't share them on here as what goes on on tour stays on tour!

Lee eventually turns up and the craic continues for a while and then we decide we are going to Hawkstone next week to see him off on his way to Australia................



6,4,6,6,5,6,5,5,7